“I’m a new beak here on the Twitter block,
Me and Chiquita comprise our flock,
She’s laid up now from a vile attack-
When the family wolf lunched on her back,
(A nasty beast and utter fool,
Say the word “hen” and it starts to drool!)
Chiquita’s quite savvy and she knows I.T.
Such as where to find Shift or the Option Key,
She manages Facebook and Twitter accounts,
Generates Followers in large amounts,
Though I’ve not embarked on the Twitter train-
Flippin’ peck- I’m on board now till she’s well again!
So now I’m exposed like a featherless hen,
Whose online nakedness attracts weird men
An innocent chick in a vicious world,
Of user names and shortened URLs
Where signs and symbols may be misconstrued,
And @names send comments, some good, some rude.
I’m strapped to the Tweetdeck of the family plane-
I’m flying on Twitter and it feels insane,
Comments keep coming and I can’t keep pace,
Mustn’t lose Followers or I may lose face,
Chiquita’s checking daily, all my posts she reads,
Then nibbles from her sick bed on expensive seeds.
Is that drone white noise from cyber space,
Jostling for attention of the human race?
A terrible din, a wired-in thrum,
Electrical synapses beat the drum
Breaching the interstitial quiet,
Leaching a virtual e-noise riot.
Oh! I think I see a hash-tag and it’s really kinda scary
It’s hiding on my keyboard and it’s thin and rather hairy,
And suddenly an @ appears and signifies a reader,
Who may not know Chiq’s indisposed and I’m the new hen leader.
A re-tweet is delightful and I’m having fun galore
With user names, http and how to under_score
I’ve posted out to all our @’s the joys of dustbath wallowing,
I’ve focussed my hendeavours on a new and loyal Following,
I’ve joined a dozen #trends and I think I may eggspire
If I have to post a Retweet or a message going Via.
I’ve customised our profile with a cockerel or two,
When Chiq returns she may just find her Twitter looks quite new!”
But! Who’s that hiding
In the Profile,
It’s that rascal-
Should you catch him buzzin @you
Don’t give in to the Twitterbug
Oh the @’s and the #
Are like layers mash
With an infinite, speck-like scope
But the @’s and the #
Won’t offer you cash-
Just a noose-length piece of rope.
So be careful
Of that rascal,
Stay away from
Pecky Sue she did not listen-
She swallowed the Twitterbug.
So the Twitterbug grew,
And pupated in Sue
To a beautiful bulbous beast,
It grew fat on her corn,
Metapmorphed, was reborn,
To continue its urgent feast.
Pecky Sue couldn’t stop,
Had to Tweet till she dropped
With repetitive, manic drive;
How her wingers they typed,
All her memory was wiped
Only Twitter kept her alive.
Then one day, praise the flock!
Twitterbug took a knock
Which fatally severed a leg,
Undermined, it declined
To survive, so did find-
Itself laid as a Twitter egg.